Hitting Send

My life is like a stroll upon the beach,
As near the ocean’s edge as I can go.

As a friend of mine and I both happen to be visitors in Southern California this week, we chose to journey to the ocean together yesterday. According to Google she was a mere 44 minutes south, if I could avoid traffic, and so I set off upon what felt like a synchronistic meeting. I was Grateful to find that driving down the six to seven lane stretches of freeway to Orange County came with the ease of many years of practice, despite its dramatic difference from the curvy back roads of Northern California to which I’ve now become accustomed. I don’t recall having visited Huntington Beach before, but my friend promised it was close and Gorgeous. She was quite right about that and despite overcast skies it was incredibly Beautiful and surprisingly warm. We both craved the ionized, healing breezes as much as the calming and rebalancing waters, and Joyously danced upon the sand upon arrival.

We lay out towels, and quickly made our way to the ocean’s edge, darting back and forth, challenging waves, our laughter carried out to sea. The clear aqua seafoam waves crashed before us, while distant gray skies sat above us, reflecting the unrevealed in our lives. There are always Amazing womyn around me whose processes are similar to my own, and as my friend and I are both Adventuring the unknown, we were able to support each other in the knowledge that with clear goals in mind, we could trust that all works out for our highest good. We presented our goals at the feet of the infinite body of water before us, allowing the desires to drift out into the World, just as we wish for our gifts to pour forth.

I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning how to sail my ship.

While the beach wasn’t crowded, there were many surfers appreciating the waves. We watched as they balanced themselves in the unexpected, a Wonderful example of grace and ease. I have never been surfing before, but I’m told that it’s important to stay balanced in the present moment, not to over think, and to have fun and enJoy the ride. Sounds like pretty right on philosophy to me! I know that the ocean is an incredible gift for which I am appreciative, and that heading there with a friend was twice as nice.

Love and beach Blessings,
Antonia

I didn’t mean to watch! haha In fact, I was innocently meditating in my backyard, enjoying one of my favourite times of day: that pre-dawn turned light, when the still, crisp night still twinkling with evening porch lights becomes a glowing bustle of activity. It’s that space when the diurnal and nocturnal can meet in-between, as the first rays of the Sun grace the darkened sky, and if lucky, one can glimpse both the Moon’s departure on one side of the sky, and the Sun’s arrival on the other. I was allowing for the cacophony of chirping around me, which came from not only the many birds, but also the fox squirrels. And, they were restless!!! *giggle*

There are quite a few fox squirrels, Sciurus niger, living in my neighbourhood, and I have found them to be quite entertaining. In general, I mean! hehe None-natives to the Southern California area, these tree squirrels were introduced to the Los Angeles area in about 1904. Civil War and Spanish American War veterans residing at the Sawtelle Veteran’s Home on Sepulveda and Wilshire Boulevards brought fox squirrels from their Mississippi Valley homes. I don’t know why, but I can tell you that they have spread from there into the neighbouring counties of Orange and Ventura, and that there are efforts being made to track them.

These agile rodents have an excellent sense of smell, keen eyesight and fair hearing, but are a tad short on attention span. I like their brown to reddish-brown colouring with its yellowish belly; which sets them apart from the more common Western gray or California gray squirrel, Sciurus griseus. I think they are cute, and don’t mind that they eat plentifully from my property, although… I do have an apricot tree which shortly after bearing fruit was picked clean in a single night! I’m Not kidding you! I went out one morning and the tree was empty of fruit! They were organized, I tell ya!! lol

Apparently fox squirrels can co-habitat where food (acorns, nuts, roots, bulbs, seeds, berries, etc.) is plentiful, sharing nests, and assisting each other. I have found them to be very gregarious and playful; chasing each other across the telephone wires, and swinging from tree to tree, chirping away! It’s adorable!

On this particular morning, they were making more than their usual “ki-ki-ki” type of chirping, but also a barking sound for which they are known. That’s barking like a little dog, and it, along with chatters, and high-pitched whines are all used during mating season. I opened my eyes and watched as two squirrels chased each other in a quick, but elaborate circle, centered around a telephone pole, and sweeping around the outstretched branches of tress, and across the top of tall bushes. Back up the telephone pole, this time stopping half-way, my jaw dropped as I watched him mount her. Ummm! Then the chase was on again, round the circle they went. But, they weren’t alone. Oh, no!

Firstly, I watched curiously as another squirrel followed closely behind the couple, awaiting. I was not the only audience member in attendance either. Quite a few squirrels watched from surrounding tree branches, chirping, dancing about. Did I mention this was a Loud affair? The males have been ready for over a month, maturing at 11 months, dancing around the females and forming a hierarchy of who’s getting whom. Usually a second male follows behind the couple, keeping others at bay, and awaiting his turn. That’s not what I witnessed. Granted, with the fox squirrel there is no sexual dimorphism in size or appearance. However, I watched a second female, awaiting her turn, chase the first female away, take her place half-way up the pole, and ummm, the male quickly complied! Wow! Not so monogamous, are they? Nope. They tend to be polygamous, as I saw. But, it seemed to be out in the open and agreed upon!

The females in my neighbourhood should be giving birth in the next couple of weeks. They’re doing it on their own, as the males will have no part in the child-rearing process. I have been pondering if I would prefer to be one of the Winter-born babies, who arrive to an enclosed den in the hollow of a tree, or a Late Summer baby, born in a cup-shaped leaf nest wedged into the crotch of tree branches, high above the ground. They both sound magickal and Lovely in their own way, don’t you think?

It’s a gorgeous Spring day. The Sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and hopefully they are further along in their nest building than I am. I once read “You didn’t pack in a day, so don’t expect to unpack in one either,” which is good advice. I threw everything together in a weekend and perhaps therein lies the problem. (grin) To make matters more interesting, everything that I had left in storage a couple of years ago, was taken out of storage and moved in amongst my other stuff into one jumble. It’s pretty cool finding stuff I had forgotten I owned!

I had said that if I’ve lived without it for a couple of years, how could it possibly be anything that I needed? I was wrong. One of the first boxes I came across revealed family photos. A beautiful, framed picture of my mom with her father. A picture of my great-grandmother on her 100th birthday, God/dess bless her. And, the one and only picture I have of my father. How did I ever live without these? In another box I found my baby booties from Mexico! Too cute! The irony is that if I had to salvage only a few things, these would be the ones I would hold dearest to me. That same article warned me not to worry about placing decorations right away, and, honestly, I haven’t any furniture upon which to place them.

My nesting is going way back to basics. Upon hearing of my needs, my mother immediately went out and purchased new sheets and towels for me! I know, she’s the best! I reminded her that I wasn’t sure of what I had, as of yet, but she wasn’t taking any chances. “What colour are your floors?” she asked from her cell, while pouring over potential towels for me. She purchased them and immediately got them in the mail to me. I soon had lovely peach towels with perfect complimentary coloured wash clothes and bathrug to make my bathroom look organized. And the sheets she found are divine! Soft, latte coloured decadence! Thank you, mom!

I have been wanting to create an herb garden for myself for a long time now. I asked mom what I would need. “Pots,” she told me. Get a couple of big pots and fill them with soil and then create an herb pot. Hmmm… Well, it was only a couple of days later that I found two, big, beautifully painted pots on my property which are not being used. YAY! Ask and you shall receive! “Perfect,” my mom declared when I told her of my discovery. She then began explaining which herbs could be placed with which without overgrowth issues. Knowing the ‘what’ I want to grow helped a great deal. Now I get to learn the ‘how’ because it has been awhile since I have done it.

I’m enjoying taking my time creating my nest. Slowly rediscovering my own possessions, and creating those I desire, is a fun adventure. My focus has not been so much upon what the current situation looks like, but upon the potential of my environment. With my energy on what I want my house to look and feel like, I can create it in a flowing and easy manner, just as I do my life. Many blessings to you, my reader. I hope that you too are creating things as you wish for them to be.

“Dude! You’ve gotta be fuckin’ kidding me.” I said to the shiny, black Mercedes that had just brazenly cut me off. When I heard this statement come out of my mouth, I realized that my vocabulary had gone to shit. Perhaps it was to be expected. After all, I do live in the same county that had inspired Valley Girl and the language that evolved from it. “Like, Oh My God!” The original OMG? Also popular was the saying, “Gag me with a spoon.” And thank you God that you don’t hear that one anymore. I live in the land where heirheads and celebriwreaks reign supreme and dominate the media. They’re rich, so surely their education can be counted upon to make them vocal role models. “That’s H@#!” (Ohh, right. And you even copyrighted it so I can’t use it here).

I’ve always found it humorous when people say they don’t have an accent. Of course you do! We all do. Every region’s dialect has its own nuances and inflections. Some, like the Southern drawl or a crisp English accent, are more obvious. Others, such as those in the Midwest, tend to be more subtle and difficult to define. I definitely came to adapt not only the California speech patterns, but the lingo as well. Now I’m not saying that all of my verbal abuse came from California, but, perhaps I should let you be the judge.

As a well-educated, intelligent, and generally articulate person, I am embarrassed to admit that I not only use far too much slang, but that the most overused word has to be “dude”. I can control it! I would never refer that way to my mother, or anybody else with whom I was carrying on a respectable rapport. But with my friends, particularly those of the male persuasion, I can say it a lot. And I know it’s not becoming. I’m working on it. Isn’t admitting I have a problem the first step?

Check it. Nah… I don’t usually use that one. I’m more likely to say, check this out. And I like, totally love to add an “a” to the ends of words too. I shoulda, coulda, woulda, sorta, kinda, gotta stop that habit too. ‘Cause it sucks big time. Dontcha think? BTW- you should totally check out my writing program trying to help me correct the errors of my ways right now!

Dudes! I’m totally gonna blow your mind and admit to my other nasty little habit; my love for the ‘f’ word. What do you mean you’re not surprised? Ohh, right. I fuckin’ used it in the first sentence, didn’t I? As a word, I find that it can stand alone nicely, but it also provides just the right emphasis when used with other expressions. Totally friggin’ awesome just doesn’t have the same panache as totally fuckin’ rad. Or is it totally fuckin’ killer? Although I do like freakin’ awesome. What the fuck?…Right?

I promise that I’m a respectful and loving person, so I would only tell someone to “shut up” if it were in a context that assured me that the person knew I was joking. And this is where I would not advise the ‘f’ word, because I hate hearing people say, “Shut the fuck up,” even if they do preface it with “dude”. What I do like to use and hear others say are “It’s all good”, “no worries” and “nice”. They have such sweet connotations. Sweet! As in, “Dude! That’s totally sweet!” And although it too stands alone nicely, a “dude” on the front is even more fun. Admit it!

You’re trippin’ by now, right? You’ve seen my photo and you’re shocked and just a little tripped out. I feel you! Although I rarely dig it. Sometimes I’m down with it. But more often than not I’m into it. Either way things are definitely cool. And that’s so hot. Because if it doesn’t suck, then it probably blows. But not chunks, ‘cause that’s nasty. And I’m so not fuckin’ around. No shit. Damn baby! You rock! Hell no??? Fuck yeah, man! Don’t hate, you know you love it!…and will I clean up my act soon? Nah…Fuck that! Later dudes…I’m out!

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon and I was enjoying coffee at a local Starbuck’s with an acquaintance when he brought up an interesting point. He asked how I was able to spend weekday time with so many of my friends. “Don’t they have jobs?” he wanted to know. And they do have jobs, just not in the conventional sense. They’re also hard working, usually putting in more hours than the usual 9-5 job would require. My friends are mostly artists, usually making good use of the slash career. Or they’re creating their own businesses. Either way, most are their own bosses. All are following their passions. And I’m proud of them for it.

Many in this town take a critical view of the aspiring actors/ writers/ directors/ musicians and others considered wannabes. I personally love to surround myself with creative people and I appreciate those who aren’t afraid to be an original, especially when they are following their dream. There is no other person like you. We are all originals. It’s important to act like one, and to have the courage to think like one. My friends personify this beautifully.

I understand that in a city like Los Angeles it gets a little cliché to meet yet another person with a screenplay. The vast majority of the people I know have at least one. Or they’re creating the next big television series, reality show, or hit record. They’ve almost certainly worked on sets in some capacity. It was recently estimated that the industry generates $30 billion a year for the county of Los Angeles. We live amongst numerous studios from which the majority of our entertainment comes and many here depend upon this to at least make a living, if not fulfill their calling. (Writers: I love and support you all. I’m hoping for a speedy, satisfying conclusion to your strike.)

Fortunately I have not become jaded and I can genuinely give my complete support to those close to me. As long as they have the courage to believe in their dreams and pursue them, I will give of my time and energy to helping them achieve their goals. After all, isn’t that what friends are for? And in return, I can say with gratitude in my heart, they are there for me as well.

Unfortunately, I don’t have the connections in the industry, nor a magic wand to wave in order to propel anyone’s career into stardom. So how do I help them? I care, believe in their goals, and I show up for them. We stay in contact: talk on the phone, text, email, and message. I enjoy listening to tales of who forgot their lines in rehearsal, crazy on-location shoots, or what stunt the drummer pulled off this time when he actually showed up. I also get to watch/ listen to the medium they’ve acted in/ performed on/ directed/ produced/designed/painted/sculpted. I find having creative-types in my life to be quite entertaining on various levels. How can one not enjoy those with a passionate nature? And yes, as was recently pointed out to me, we also find time for mid-week get-togethers.

I am incredibly grateful to spend an occasional weekday afternoon with my girlfriend the soon-to-be-famous actress. We also keep in close contact by phone, text, and (oddly) message more than email. I look forward to hearing about her latest endeavors. She may have just been to a mad-house audition, a desirable call-back, or had a challenging read-through and I want to know how it went. Once she’s gotten the part, I am excited to hear the latest dramas from the set and the all-night shoot it took her four cups of coffee to get through with the obsessive director’s incessant retakes. She’s an amazing person, for whose friendship I am very grateful, and it’s a pleasure to support her aspirations. It helps that I know that she’s talented. In return, she’s very supportive of me as well. And with texting, we can be there for each other in a timely fashion despite varying, busy schedules. For example, I can send her well wishes before her shoots/ performances to remind her, “Good luck 2nite! UR gonna b gr8!” She sends me texts such as, “I loved your blog!” How fun is that?

As long as those in my life believe in themselves and know that they’re doing what they love, I’ll back their endeavors. I’m hoping to encourage anyone out there reading this as well. One of the primary responsibilities in life is to be true to yourself, accomplishing what you are called to do- your unique and special vocation. We are meant to do what makes us happy and what draws upon our natural gifts and talents. This country allows us the freedom to dream big, follow our hearts, and fulfill the purpose for which we were created. What do you want to accomplish? Dream it. Be it. Do it.