Hitting Send

“There’s always something getting between you and your meditation practice, Antonia,” my mother joked with me. I cracked up! Ah, yes. First the squirrel orgy and now the mommy and daddy scrub jays squawking at me! lol Well, I shall not fall into anthropocentric thinking on this one, as I know that, to the jays, I am the uninvited guest in mom’s yard, and that these Beautiful scrub jays are merely protecting their sweet babies from my presence. The babies emerged from their eggs a few days ago, and so, when I stepped outdoors for my morning meditation, I was met by two Lovely scrub jays who perched nearby to where I stood and squawked their disapproval.

“Feed them peanuts,” mom suggested. ooOOoo, that appealed to me! Yes! As the “I’m not here to harm you, only to meditate” Loving energy I had sent them had not been met with the open-hearted nature in which it had been sent, perhaps a contribution to the new family would reassure them. I made my way along the side of the house, fist full of peanuts, and whistled, just as my mom usually does. Yet, they were not convinced, and did not greet me as they would have her. Hmmmm… Perhaps I should just meditate on the front porch.

I made myself comfortable on the front porch, grounded in, and began meditating. Fortunately, I was almost done and was making my way back to this realm when the squawking began again. haha Evidently I was still too close to their nest, as the daddy jay was now sitting in a nearby camellia bush, none too pleased with me. Oh, dear. “I’m sorry! I’m just trying to meditate, not harm your family,” I wanted to explain to him, while respecting his vigilant protective nature. There really is no way to build chi energy faster than outdoor meditation, and as I am most definitely in need of some restorative energy building, I would like for some sort of agreement to be made during my little visit upon the property. However, I also understand that one cannot barge into a new environment and expect to be accepted right away. Some things take time. Perhaps there is a morning walk to the local park in my future!

Love and Blessings,
Antonia

I was reminiscing about my early years in Sausalito recently. Well, I had actually been thinking about my Love for the Golden Gate Bridge, which invariably leads to thoughts of the picturesque hillside community of Sausalito, adjacent to San Francisco. When filling out my Myspace/Facebook type pages, I tend to write “pick one” as my hometown, but, if forced to choose, Sausalito would be the real answer, as I spent the majority of my first five years there, and returned there for another year in later years. And, what a charming place it is!

My early home was up on one of the steep hills, overlooking the water, with fortunate views of San Francisco and glimpses of my BeLoved Golden Gate Bridge. After mom had put me to bed at night, I would sneak out of bed, stand on my little bench and stare out the window at the glitter magnificence of it all in awe, wonder and utter delight.

My mom would Lovingly put me in my stroller and walk us down the hill for adventures along the World-renowned waterfront. It has a Mediterranean feel, breathtaking views which draws tourists from around the globe.

Our journeys along the boulevard were often accompanied by hikers, bikers, and the many people disembarking from ferries carrying them from across the bay. The water itself was often busy with various nautical activities; the sailboats, windsurfers and occasional cargo or passenger ship were other points of interest, adding to the overall charm of the city on the bay. But, my greatest fascination was with the Bufano sea lion sculpture. Okay, it was Lovely if real sea lions were visiting as well, but would the tide be low enough to see that Beautiful sea lion I so adored as a little girl?

The famous downtown fountain

If the adventure continued past the center of Sausalito, we would arrive at the marina, where the sailboats line up in row after row, and following this sat the very intriguing houseboats. At least, I have always found them to be quite fascinating. Otis Redding’s Doc of the Bay comes to mind, so I’m guessing I’m not alone on this one! *giggle*

When my mom emailed me yesterday asking if there was any chance that I wanted to meet her in Sausalito for Easter brunch, I smiled. Yes, mom, that sounds exactly right to me. How Lovely is that? Wow! It seems like the perfect meeting place, which now lies between us, a reasonable distance for an impromptu visit between BeLoved mother and daughter. YAY! It feels so good to be home.

Love and Blessings,
Antonia

I suspect that it was a Blessed gift that I hadn’t the time to fully integrate the big move I was making; it all happened very quickly, yet so instinctually at the same time. If you read my Rainbow post, then you know about my trip to Northern California to share in the Christ~mass Holiday with my BeLoved mother. As there are no accidents, my usual plane ride from Burbank to San Francisco became a last minute train-bus-bus journey through California, with a stop-over in San Jose. As I stood, gazing upon the Beautiful green mountains, I just knew, as much as I resisted it, that I would end up there, or its surrounding area. Admittedly, I pushed these thoughts aside until the very last minute possible (ummm, as in about ten days prior to my move! *giggle*).

Upon my return to Los Angeles I immersed myself in work, Grad school applications, packing and finding a place to live in the North Hollywood area. With the last task, I found myself rather going against stream. It just did not feel right. Ironically, my social life and connections with Amazing people actually blossomed in my last two months there. As I said in another post, once one makes claims, the Universe will test you! “Hey, Antonia, are you sure you’re supposed to leave? What if I throw this at you, or tempt you with that?” So, I turned inward, and the answer was very clear, “Yes, I am quitting my job and moving across state, sight unseen!” hehe When called…

Before I go into Womyn Power mode, (appropriate, as this weekend is International Women’s Day) let me say that there was one male who helped me with this transition, and I am very, very Grateful to him. Gotta Love a male friend with tools, right? Haha He fixed my car! After questioning my intention to drive my car to Northern CA, he knew it was going to need help and he came through for me, fixing it up for the journey. Thank you, thank you, thank you, my friend! Truly!

Now, that said, when it came to the actual move, it was done by the womyn. YAY SistArs!!! This feels so in keeping, as I am very clear that my return to Northern CA is tied with my work in returning the Goddess energy to our BeLoved and Beautiful planet, which I feel needs that nurturing energy for it’s rebalancing. My best friend, whom I now call “The Superhero” kept me on track, and supported me through the journey, going beyond the call of duty! She told me that we should fly her friend down to LA to drive the truck. Huh?! But, I trusted her and purchased the plane ticket to bring the Awesome Glynda down. I Loved her from the start! She eyed the 17 foot truck with No apprehension, explaining that she had driven various vehicles far more challenging than this cake walk. (Did I mention I Loved her from the start? )

For two weeks I pushed through a hectic schedule and some procrastination to sort through my belongings and get things packed and into the room closest to where the truck would be parked. On Saturday The Superhero and her Amazing friend helped me pack the last few boxes, and pack the truck. They returned Sunday morning and off we went, up the long, Beautiful state I Love! Let me just say that I have Never been happy to follow a truck in my life, but I was SO Grateful to do so this journey. I kept a healthy energetic figure eight around the truck and car, looking down at the Kwan Yin (Goddess of Mercy, please let us make it safely) on my dashboard, crystal in hand. I have never felt so safe and protected on a trip. Blessed. Blessed. Seven or eight hours later, and more Starbucks than I want to admit to, we arrived at my new home, where the Best Friend for whom anyone could ask, helped me unpack the truck! Not surprising that she could handle 14 hour days on sets better than I, and should you be in the position, you should hire her immediately for your upcoming show/movie/etc.

Last night I attended a Women’s Alliance Group where various Female/Goddess figures throughout history are discussed. In town less than a week, I am already being led and finding my way. As I gazed around at the Magnificent Womyn gathered, I just knew that I was in the right place, and that by trusting my instincts, I had been led to my perfect home. What’s in your heart, and where are your instincts leading you lately, BeLoved Reader?

Love and Blessings,
Antonia

I really love to travel, whether it’s a brief weekend jaunt to a neighboring locale, or a hardy month-long venture across Northern Europe. And today I was leaving sunny Los Angeles to make my way north to visit my mom for Christmas.  Armed with a well-stocked iPod and an entertaining book, I was excited to get through security and have the adventure begin. I will admit that I don’t mind waiting in airports, and after my time as an extra on movie sets where waiting can be the only agenda for the day, my patience quotient has become quite high. Besides, you never know what kind of interesting people you’ll meet at an airport (but those are stories for another time).

Have I mentioned how much I LOVE to fly? Ohh man, it’s so great! I love it all! The speed of take-off, lifting into the air, soaring higher and higher into the sky as the houses, cars, and world below become smaller and further away. Today was especially beautiful. Our plane sped into the air and was quickly enveloped by the winter clouds. Then rays of sunlight poured in the chicklet windows as we broke through and rose above the fluffy white madness layered beneath us. Wow! 

I deboarded the plane in San Francisco. Crap, it was cold! After retrieving my small suitcase and feeling grateful that it had made the journey safely with me, I wrapped a wool scarf around my neck, pulled my coat a little tighter and once again braced myself for the frigid air. All right, I know it’s not that bad. But my blood has thinned out in the Southern California heat to which I’ve become accustomed. After all, it was 89 degrees just a few days prior.  

After a brief wait and some people watching, I boarded a shuttle bus. With the Foo Fighters providing my soundtrack, I settled into the seat, stared out at the familiar San Francisco streets and smiled. I admired the Victorian houses in their varied colors. Pink ones. Blue ones. I loved the people’s willingness to be so original. And look at the moldings. Huh. Petrol prices are just as perverse here. Ohh, look! I can see the top of the Golden Gate Bridge through the tree tops.

I have had a love affair with the Golden Gate Bridge since I was a toddler. I was fortunate enough to have the opportunity to walk across it the one time they closed it off to traffic in celebration of it’s 50th anniversary. As we crossed it, I turned and stared back at the spectacular SF skyline. The dome of the Palace of Fine Arts, the piers, and the distinctive Pyramid Building. And there floating in the bay was Alcatraz. 

On the other side, the lush green cliffs jut up from the ocean and stretch into the sky. It was also where we went in high school to “park”. Can you imagine how lucky we were to be able to drive up the hill overlooking the SF bay and the big red bridge on a moonlit night? As the bus climbed the hill into Marin County and passed through the rainbow tunnel I felt as though we had officially entered my old stomping grounds. I peered down at Sausalito, which was my first home when we came to the States. Houses precariously perch its treacherous hillsides, which one must access through tight, curvy little roads marked by little brown street signs. I’ve always loved those street signs.

A bit further down the road and I could see my picturesque high school. From the expanse of football field and track, to the clock tower. It truly is beautiful. And rising directly behind it lay Mount Tam. I couldn’t help but wonder how many times I traversed its steep terrain. Damn. No wonder I was so little and in such good shape. It might be time to take up hiking again!

Finally we arrived at the end of my journey. We passed the Ferry Terminal and I remembered the journeys into the city by ferry. It’s another fun way to travel the expanse between Marin and SF and I highly recommend it. At last I arrived the awaiting arms of my mother. I was home.