Hitting Send

Friends have asked me which of our presidential candidates I’m behind. I haven’t as of yet decided, but I’ll tell you why I would consider Hillary. I can overlook the fact that she got into bed with the same people who spent $60 million to defeat her health care bill. She does have more experience and…okay, I admit it…I want Bill back in the White House. Yes I do. That man did so much for this country while he was in office. He’s also darn charismatic. And think of all the great SNL skits that would evolve from having Bill as the first First Man.

I personally didn’t mind if he was getting bj’s at work. Especially when I heard that he was on the phone with senators at the time. I would consider that multi-tasking. Wouldn’t you? And don’t we want our president to be able to multi-task? Come on. It was actually rather impressive. You and I both know that Bush could never do that. Maybe we would be better off as a country if he had. Would we be fighting an ill-fated war if George was getting bj’s? Come on Laura. Suck it up and take one for the team.

I really believe that Barack could be a good president in about another ten years, when he’s gained some experience. I’m disappointed that the big ‘O’ decided to back him. It’s not even just how disconcerting I find the fact that he’s backed by nuclear energy; although that is troubling to me. I was very happy to hear that he put down the cigarettes, replacing them with nicotine gum. Can you imagine the leader of the free world smoking?!?! Although I give kudos to him for admitting that he not only smoked pot, but actually inhaled! He gained a little more respect from me right there. What does concern me is that he’s gaining in the polls and shifting votes. If we lose the democratic vote and get stuck with yet another Republican fuck-up, I will be devastated!

The candidate most in line with my political views is Kucinich. And we all know that a man who resembles an elf does not stand a chance in hell of being elected. What a pity! He has progressive views that would send this country into the right direction, and even make up for some of the damage done. Have you seen his hot wife? The red-head with a tongue ring? The man must have tricks up his sleeves to have landed her. Go Kucinich!

I must say a word or two about Republican candidate Mike Huckabee. Congratulations on the hundred pound plus weight loss. Good for you! May I recommend that if you need the congratulatory remarks, you get them by going on Oprah? Don’t run for president! Oh, and allow me to please laugh at the debate around your Christmas commercial. You’re really maintaining that the lit-up cross behind you was just a bookshelf? Really?? And the three, very specifically arranged Christmas balls didn’t represent the Holy Trinity either, right? Dude! You’ve gotta be fuckin’ kidding me! I would also be remiss if I didn’t mention my extreme concern about your son. The Psychology major in me knows how truly disturbing it is when children are abusive towards animals. You have excused the fact that your ten-year-old son actually killed a dog while away at Summer camp. Very upsetting. Can you imagine Bill and Hilary explaining why Chelsea killed a dog? Enough said.

Then there’s the opportunistic, cross-dressing, cheater from New York. Ugh! I know you paint yourself as a family man now. I saw you stop the news conference to take a call from your wife. Which number wife is that anyway? Weren’t you still with the last one when you met her? I will give you some credit for all of the times you’ve gone out dressed in women’s clothes. I love when someone is open about their fetishes. It’s refreshing and, like Barack’s drug-use confessions, I’ll tend to trust you more. But not enough to want you in the White House.

Well folks, that’s the view from my lens. I know I didn’t tell you much about where I stand. But with a name like “A Round About View of the Candidates” what were you expecting? Besides, I’m willing to bet that for every issue, you could pretty accurately guess where I stand. Am I right? Iowa Causus is in a few days, and it should be interesting to see how things evolve. I certainly have my fingers crossed!

I really love to travel, whether it’s a brief weekend jaunt to a neighboring locale, or a hardy month-long venture across Northern Europe. And today I was leaving sunny Los Angeles to make my way north to visit my mom for Christmas.  Armed with a well-stocked iPod and an entertaining book, I was excited to get through security and have the adventure begin. I will admit that I don’t mind waiting in airports, and after my time as an extra on movie sets where waiting can be the only agenda for the day, my patience quotient has become quite high. Besides, you never know what kind of interesting people you’ll meet at an airport (but those are stories for another time).

Have I mentioned how much I LOVE to fly? Ohh man, it’s so great! I love it all! The speed of take-off, lifting into the air, soaring higher and higher into the sky as the houses, cars, and world below become smaller and further away. Today was especially beautiful. Our plane sped into the air and was quickly enveloped by the winter clouds. Then rays of sunlight poured in the chicklet windows as we broke through and rose above the fluffy white madness layered beneath us. Wow! 

I deboarded the plane in San Francisco. Crap, it was cold! After retrieving my small suitcase and feeling grateful that it had made the journey safely with me, I wrapped a wool scarf around my neck, pulled my coat a little tighter and once again braced myself for the frigid air. All right, I know it’s not that bad. But my blood has thinned out in the Southern California heat to which I’ve become accustomed. After all, it was 89 degrees just a few days prior.  

After a brief wait and some people watching, I boarded a shuttle bus. With the Foo Fighters providing my soundtrack, I settled into the seat, stared out at the familiar San Francisco streets and smiled. I admired the Victorian houses in their varied colors. Pink ones. Blue ones. I loved the people’s willingness to be so original. And look at the moldings. Huh. Petrol prices are just as perverse here. Ohh, look! I can see the top of the Golden Gate Bridge through the tree tops.

I have had a love affair with the Golden Gate Bridge since I was a toddler. I was fortunate enough to have the opportunity to walk across it the one time they closed it off to traffic in celebration of it’s 50th anniversary. As we crossed it, I turned and stared back at the spectacular SF skyline. The dome of the Palace of Fine Arts, the piers, and the distinctive Pyramid Building. And there floating in the bay was Alcatraz. 

On the other side, the lush green cliffs jut up from the ocean and stretch into the sky. It was also where we went in high school to “park”. Can you imagine how lucky we were to be able to drive up the hill overlooking the SF bay and the big red bridge on a moonlit night? As the bus climbed the hill into Marin County and passed through the rainbow tunnel I felt as though we had officially entered my old stomping grounds. I peered down at Sausalito, which was my first home when we came to the States. Houses precariously perch its treacherous hillsides, which one must access through tight, curvy little roads marked by little brown street signs. I’ve always loved those street signs.

A bit further down the road and I could see my picturesque high school. From the expanse of football field and track, to the clock tower. It truly is beautiful. And rising directly behind it lay Mount Tam. I couldn’t help but wonder how many times I traversed its steep terrain. Damn. No wonder I was so little and in such good shape. It might be time to take up hiking again!

Finally we arrived at the end of my journey. We passed the Ferry Terminal and I remembered the journeys into the city by ferry. It’s another fun way to travel the expanse between Marin and SF and I highly recommend it. At last I arrived the awaiting arms of my mother. I was home.