Hitting Send

It has been a year since I packed up and left my home of almost eleven years, sunny Los Angeles, and made my way back to my BeLoved Northern California. Perhaps it was my own naivety, as I didn’t realize that living in wine country was still ‘the country”, which allows for fresh air, very little traffic, and many mountains to climb, but is also an adjustment in many cold, cloudy days, rain aplenty, and a whole lot of mud. There’s also an element of isolation from certain social activities and limitations in ones buying potentials. It has brought with it many adventures, joys, challenges, lessons, Beautiful new friends and Blessings. There are days when I miss LaLaLand, and my dear friends there, but then my best friend calls and says something to snap me out of it, like, “I’m on the 405 and LA is just one big parking lot! Do you have a couple of hours to talk?” haha She’s not kidding, and I’m reminded that driving twenty traffic-free minutes through the vineyards to get groceries may not be so bad after all.

When I look up at the Northern California night sky, I am awestruck by the innumerable twinkling stars brightly blanketing the immense, dark vastness above me. Sadly, the sky in LA has but a sparse smattering of what the eye can behold in the North. I was able to experience the night sky at its finest this fall when, after some trepidation, I accepted an invite to a birthday party “up on the mountain”. This would allow me to experience what I’d been hearing about, people living off the grid. I nervously traveled past the vineyards and up a country mountainside to join my friends, promises of amazing live music, dancing, food, and delicious home-brewed ales on my mind. I could have sworn my iPhone laughed at me when I checked it for guidance part way up the mountainside only to find the dreaded ‘no service’ flash at me. “You wanted to experience this,” I reminded myself as I continued my climb through the maze of signless dirt roads. The nearly moonless night allowed me the luxury of not having to witness the steepness of the cliffs on the right of me as I slowly crept along mile after mile, pushing through my city girl fears. I reminded myself of the many dangerous city streets I’d braved, and how traversing a mountain in the dark shouldn’t be so tough. Relief warmed me as I gazed upon the community building and parking lot full of trucks. Yes! People! Wise ones, who know of the necessity for 4-wheel drive vehicles! I took a deep breath, congratulated myself for making it, and gazed up at the sky above me. My jaw dropped. It was like nothing I’ve ever seen before in my life, and I marveled to myself, “Are there really this many stars in the sky?” A friend spotted me and made her way over to welcome me, stopping to point out certain constellations and the milky way. I was overwhelmed by its magnificent Beauty and the knowledge that I was right where I belonged.

Love and Blessings,
Antonia

As I’ve made my way through the winding roads of the wine country around me, I find myself fascinated by the various manifestations of Beauty the vineyards take on throughout the changing seasons. The fertile lushness of Spring and juicy Summer months, the richly textured shades of Autumn, and the sharp contrast of bright yellow mustard and orange California poppies growing at the feet of the stark, slumbering vines in Winter. I Love the bright colours dancing fancifully as the winds tease the valley floors before making their way up the deep green mountains beyond. While it was my desire for the cheery Spring energy to finally be upon us which sent me in search of it, I’m also consciously in preparation for the energetic shift which will occur with the changing of seasons.

Daffodils are a sure sign of Spring!

“I’m looking for signs of Spring,” I informed the gardener on the grounds where I reside, “Have you seen any?” I had wanted to learn more about the yellow mustard growing so plentifully across the miles of vineyard surrounding us, and thought he’d be a good resource. I learned that they were volunteers, but that mustard had been planted at the base of the vineyards in years past as a pest deterrent. This is why I saw it so commonly. Well, I welcome the Sunny yellow colour in my surroundings, Dear Reader, especially during the Winter months! The gardener told me to check out the blossoming chard before returning to his gate building project. Yes, a break in the rains, and activity is abustle.

Awwwwe! The baby doves

While I have been feeling rather Spring Feverly, I also appreciate that there are two weeks left ahead of us prior to the arrival of the Equinox, when seasons shall officially change, and with it the energies. Right now, we are supported by the waning moon and last weeks of Winter, and I am choosing to utilize it by meditating upon any blocks I may have to the new and exciting things to come. Using this time as a Spring-cleaning of the mind, body and spirit, we can recognize and eliminate that which is no longer serving us. Whether we have outdated beliefs about ourselves and others, general preconceived notions, or behavioral patterns we wish to change, now is the time to release these. Then we can embrace the wonderful life just ahead, where doors shall open and situations shall align bringing forth a life that makes our spirits lift, and heart bloom. Just ahead is that which we truly want to have Spring forth. What could you release to allow yourself to live your best life and dreams?

Love and Blessings,
Antonia

While the first thing I noticed about moving to a retreat center/animal sanctuary was the Sacred Heritage tree, the first sound I heard was most definitely the cacophony of the many, many Amazing birds in residence. There are so many, Dear Reader, I admittedly have felt a bit overwhelmed by them all, and have thus gotten to know them at my own sweet pace. It’s been a DeLight to explore the various parrots, pheasants, doves, finches, peacocks, swans, emus, ducks, geese… you’re getting the picture, right? There is a plethora of Beautiful birds on this property. I could not begin to show you all of them, in their often brightly coloured spendor, but I set out today to introduce you to some of them.

We shall begin with Sydney, for he’ll introduce himself as soon as you make your way across the stretch of lawn in front of his cage. “Hello?” he’ll call, “How are you?” Nice manors, don’t you think?

Beside his cage are the other parrots, all of whom were very patient with me as I photographed them. I was particularly Grateful to the Sweet Votan, whose willingness to open her stunning blue and sunny yellow wings was particularly touching. Many thanks, also, to the animal handlers who assisted in the venture. Here are the parrots they showed me:

If you follow me on Twitter, you may have read tweets about, and/or seen pictures of, Roy. I fell in Love with him instantly, and am still fascinated by the twenty-year-old European turkey who wanders freely about the property. He stays within one area, his black and white feathers standing out as he crosses the main lawn, sits by the dining hall or stands outside the birdcages to flirt with the peahens. He gets very excited when guests come to stay, and is also an avid music fan. When tunes can be heard in the main dining area, Roy will puff up his feathers and gobble for ages! hehehe The sounds of his “gobble gobble gobble” across the grounds cracks me up. It really does.

There are quite a few different types of pheasants on the property, most of whom preferred not to be photographed. Except, that is, for the Silver Pheasant, who wandered right up to greet me.

I think I saw the giant Emu eggs before I met the birds themselves. There are a male and female who reside here, and they’re two of the oldest Emu’s in the World. They are very sweet and curious. Isn’t he super cute??

Another of my favourites to spend time with is the Swan, Luxor. She’s a black swan, who’ll elegantly glide across the pond to greet visitors. She Loves to chat, and has even been known for singing along, if you sing the right melody to her. I think she’s Lovely, Lovely!

Of course the peacocks and peahens are a Joy to behold, in their magnificent array of brightly colored iridescent feathers. If you look closely, you can see one of the peahens curiously looking out from behind his skirt. I’m certain she’s the very same peahen I witnessed having an escaped outing on the roof recently. Yes, I tweeted that pic, too!

All of the birds are a part of my days here, whether it’s the soft cooing of doves, or gobbling of Roy, or strange squawking from one of the parrots. I am Grateful to witness their Spectacular mating dances, and to be amongst such Beauty and charm. They really are Amazing animals. I hope you’ve enJoyed visiting with them, too!

Love and Blessings,
Antonia

The cool, purple flourite ball was the only thing in the store which called to me, and I knew I had to have it. I made another circle ‘round the shop again to be certain there was nothing being overlooked, a little something tucked here or there which might shift its energy towards me, grabbing my attention and proclaiming its rightful place in my home. I edged along the bookshelf, admiring their excellent collection, but finding nothing which spoke directly to me. I stood for a while over a table covered with baskets of glittering semiprecious stones, and Beautifully handmade crafts, but none seemed right for this particular moment. It became quite obvious that I’d quickly found the reason for entering the store, and I was excited to purchase my round piece of flourite, unaware of the lesson it would soon share with me.

As there were already customers completing transactions by the register, I pondered the semiprecious stone in my hand. Formerly known as Fluorspar, it’s understandable why the ancient Egyptians used Flourite to carve statues and scarabs, and why it remains one of the most popular stones with collectors. With its Magnificient array of colours, I’ve always been fond of Rainbow Flourite with its mixed bands of deep purple and fluorescent blues, aquamarines, greens and yellows. Knowing the owners of the store, I greeted them both as one took my purchase. Now, without any blame, my crystal did end up on the floor, cracking and breaking into two pieces. At first the surprise kept me a bit mute, but I opted to keep the stone, and departed the store a bit bewildered. There was a voice inside of me saying, “Did my Stone of Discernment just break? Shouldn’t I be concerned about that??” But, when I stopped to look at the Beautiful crystal in my hand, I saw a Wonderful reminder, and knew it was supposed to be with me.

It was not until the flourite ball was cracked open that it could share the depths of its true Beauty, for now not only can one see the magnificence of its cool, smooth purple exterior, but also the deep blues and fertile green which glows inside of it. ooOOoo yes, I see. For in the dropping and breaking, the stone had revealed even more of its Beauty to me. And, so it is.

Love and Blessings,

Antonia

It was just over two years and ninety-nine posts ago when I declared aloud, “I want a blog called ‘Hittingsend’; and, so it was. I had been following two passions of mine, research and writing, and wished to share both with like-minded people. Always true to my multi-faceted nature, I was soon juxtaposing a post on ‘rockin’ the Foo’ with a post about why and how one should meditate. Whether I write about my musings upon lessons learned in this circle of life and beyond, my Gratitude for the gift of being in nature, or my Love for Tattoos, the view through my lens hopefully is infused with my passionate Love and appreciation for life. It is a gift for which I am Grateful, and I try to compliment it with images which also uplift and inspire.

Thank you so much to my BeLoved readers, whose visits and kind words touch my heart and inspire me to continue researching, writing and sharing the view through my lens. I am especially Grateful to my Beautiful mother, who has Lovingly shared in everything I’ve written. How lucky am I? Yes, Blessed, indeed. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Love and Blessings,
Antonia

Trees are poems that earth writes upon the sky..

She was the first thing I noticed about my new home. With her large moss covered trunk, her many branches reaching high into the sky, the conifer tree stands 150 feet tall in her magnificent grander. Surely, Dear Reader, you can imagine my delight at the presence of a Sacred tree, my desire to learn more about her, and my longing to sit at her base in meditation. The tree’s a twin, you know? From its base, a branching of two, it is thus considered to be a Sacred tree by the Native American Pomo tradition, a tribe which inhabited this area long ago. She’s also a heritage tree, protected by a county ordinance, and recorded as being over six hundred years old. Can you imagine what she’s seen?

The wonder is that we can see these trees and not wonder more.

While her thick trunk has branched out over time, she is a ‘Lone Wolf’ regally stretched above the valley, bearing witness to the history of the land, and many Sacred ceremonies. While impressive, it isn’t the age nor height which makes this Douglas Fir tree so special, but the location in which she has lived since the 1400’s, as its considered inhospitable for her kind. Yet, despite poor soil and weather conditions, she has grown and thrived. Home to many more creatures than I can imagine, including a beehive tucked into a nook in the trunk, I found mushrooms growing against the lush green moss, and a Beautiful spiderweb drifting in the cool morning breeze.

How she came to be, we’ll never know, it probably wasn’t a human though. Indigenous tribes were the only ones residing in the area in the 1400’s, and as they were not known for planting fir trees, it is thus believed that the seeds for this tree were brought incidentally by a traveling animal. Grow she did, the landscape beneath changing form as shelters and roads were built near by. A group of Bahá’í’s owned the land, gathering often, I’m told, for speeches and ceremonies beneath the Sacred tree. About one hundred years ago she was visited by Luther Burbank, who identified the conifer as being over five hundred years old, which is consistent with what arborists are saying today. She currently watches over a retreat center and animal sanctuary, which is also my new home.

For in the true nature of things, if we rightly consider,
every green tree is far more glorious
than if it were made of gold and silver.

She stands strong, deeply grounded, she knows the earth’s secrets, yet also converses with the heaven’s above. As I sat at the base in silent meditation, I felt Blessed by the presence of this Amazing Sacred tree, whose gentle heartbeat pulses with the music of Mother nature and all life, a part of the whole, sharing simple truths and wisdom. What a Wonderful gift is the heritage tree.

Love and Blessings,
Antonia

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I –
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Love and Blessings,
Antonia

As another calendar year comes to an end, Mother Earth rests in the contentment of work well done, and silently renews in preparation for the Spring magick of rebirth. There is Beauty before us, and Beauty behind us. I have been utilizing this introspective energy to not only give thanks for the gifts to come, but also to reflect back upon my successes of the year, acknowledging myself for what I did right and the lessons I learned. Success breeds success, and it is important to celebrate both our big and small accomplishments. Last year I asked my BeLoved Readers, “What were your Gold Star moments?” It’s time to Celebrate our successes again! YAY! Acknowledging your achievements, or Self Gratitude, is a powerful exercise which is fun and often fuels creative energy which can flow into new ventures of which you can be proud!

I invite you to look back upon the year and notice the smaller steps which led to your greater achievements. What have you done which made you proud of yourself? Appreciating yourself is a form of self respect, instilling confidence and trust in your own abilities. Do you see how this could not only be a healthy, fun activity, but also one which would strengthen the place from which you can Create/Creatrix what you want in the new year? Yes, you should be proud of yourself! Look what you did, the learning which took place.. you did that for yourself! Bring awareness to that which you created in your life, be impressed with your abilities, and acknowledge yourself for your Gold Star moments.

Here are some of my achievements this year:

1. While I acknowledged last year that I am “both a delicate flower, who is also a strong womyn”, I have come to realize that I am both less fragile and stronger than I thought. By gently pushing through my comfort zones, I have grown stronger physically and emotionally this year.

2. True to my nomadic nature, I moved quite a few times this year. Along the journey I sought a physical home outside of myself, only to realize that home was within me all along. I am a nomadic global citizen, at home wherever I am.

3. I have been truly Blessed with many new friends/connections in my life this year. They are strong, intelligent, big-hearted, generous and Beautiful souls with ties which bind us in mutual healing and personal growth. For this Amazing support network, I am so Grateful.

4. Pushing through another level of comfort, I was able to connect my passion for music and Love for my soul siblings with my new radio show “From the Heart with EdenSol”, another Wonderful accomplishment of which I am proud.

5. Once again, I have listed my successes on the www! YAY, ME! *giggle*

Congratulations, Dear Reader, on another year! What achievements are you proud of?

Love and Successful Blessings,
Antonia

Thick, grey clouds made their way over the valley’s surrounding mountains yesterday, sitting heavily against the snow-capped tops, threatening downpours in the small town. As the mist settled upon the valley floor, Christmas shoppers dodged the scattered showers, seeking warmth in local cafes. As Winter was only a day away, I felt inspired to pull out my family mulled wine recipe, as I Love making it this time of year. It’s a festive blend of red wine, cinnamon, cloves, citrus and sweetener, which is fun to offer friends and family, and makes the house smell yummy.

Making mulled wine not only makes me feel as though I am carrying on the tradition handed down by my mother and grandmother, but also connects me with the holiday tradition of my ancestors, as making mulled wine has a long history. ‘Mulled’ simply means heated and spiced, and this can be done with cider, mead, wine, and liquors. In medievel times the heated wine was known as Ypocras or Hipocris, named after the physician Hippocrates. In the 1500s, cookbooks listed methods of mulling “Clarrey”, or Bordeaux. Recipes involved honey, cinnamon, cardamon, galingale and French wine. Mulled wine was a favorite in Victorian England, and was known in Nordic countries as Glögg. In German-speaking countries the beverage is known as Glühwein and has a documented history dating back to around 1420. In Romania it is called vin fiert (”boiled wine”), and can be made using either red or white wine, sometimes made with peppercorns. In Italy, mulled wine is made in the northern part of the country and is known as vin brulè. And, in Chile the drink is called navegado and is heated and spiced with cinnamon sticks, orange slices, cloves and sugar. Almonds and raisins are also commonly added.

There are many recipes for mulled wine, and the recipe can be used with apple or cranapple juice in lieu of wine, if one prefers a non-alcoholic spiced beverage. My family recipe:

1/2 gallon Burgandy wine (any dry red wine can be used, but use less expensive wine)
1/4 gallon apple juice (or water)
sugar to taste
4-6 cinnamon sticks
8-12 whole cloves
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
orange slices

other spices one could add:
ginger
peppercorns
star anise
allspice
vanilla bean
lemon slices

In a large pan, heat ingredients to just below boiling point. Mull for at least fifteen minutes. I like to heat it for an hour or so. One can put the spices in cheesecloth, but I prefer to let them drift about in the wine. Float slices of orange and/or lemons on top. It’s very pretty!

Love and Holiday Blessings,
Antonia

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

“Oh my gosh, Kassie!” I proclaimed to my friend’s back as I watched her lithe form climb over the creek bed’s wall before us with ease and grace. I followed suit with less finesse, pushing any fears stirring in my mind aside. As an avid hiker with a curious and adventurous spirit, I am usually game for venturing a new path. Yesterday I found myself on a hike with a friend who likes to journey where there are no paths. Aptly nicknamed the “Rugged Faerie in Boots”, Kassie’s daring nature and agility is an Amazing thing to witness, and I appreciated the conscientious way she pushed me out of my comfort zone. Breaking through fears is such an important yoga in life. In order to grow and expand, we must mindfully push ourselves through our limitations, boundaries and comfort of everyday life.

Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them.

While knowing our limits can be healthy, we must be careful not to allow self-limiting belief systems and fear of the unknown to confine our lives and keep us stuck and doubting of our own abilities. When I hike, it is usually along paths like the one pictured above; there are some steep hillsides, but it is all part of a journey within my comfort zone. During my hike with Kassie, I stepped outside the safe and predictable into the unknown, pushing my own perceived limitations. “You may want to know that you can do this,” she reminded me as she descended down an insanely steep hillside from which one might actually get vertigo. “Oh my gosh!” I exclaimed again, as I stretched my arms out for balance and cautiously edged my way down the unbeaten path, moving through my fears to the grassy knoll below.

The difficulties you meet will resolve themselves as you advance. Proceed, and light will dawn, and shine with increasing clearness on your path.

You know what? She was right! I can do it! And, as we traversed creek side and rounded the rocky, fern-lined path, I had to stop to admire the incredible Beauty of the expedition. Look what I could have missed! I highly recommend looking at self limiting beliefs. It is incredibly empowering to daringly break through. We are here to learn and grow, and can only do so through courageously exploring. So, let us go forward, towards those secretly longings of the heart, towards the light together, mindfully pushing through. What is standing in your way, Dear Reader?

Love and Adventurous Blessings,
Antonia